well I haven't posted anything for quite some time, namely because of the ridiculous amount of work I have had recently. The third year workload has a tendency to sneak up on you. Talking of which I should be finishing an essay on Indian cinema due in for tomorrow, looks like I'll be pulling an all nighter again, I think my flatmates have become quite used to the sound of me prowling round the house all night like an ocelot.
Oh well, back to the grindstone.

"the whole world at my fingertips" that's how the internet was explained to me tonight. Quite frankly I'd rather be an idiot with a guitar.

Just finished watching "Factotum" and I can say I thoroughly enjoyed it. One of the best films I've seen in a while. I had not heard of the film before I bought it but was swayed by the quote on the back "Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead." I would spend ages convincing anyone possible of what a great film this is but I reckon the films final voice over is more apt to do the job. Based on the book of the same name by Charles Bukowski, which I intend to buy very soon, it tells the story of Hank Chinaski a drunk, a writer and a factory worker.

"If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs. And maybe your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance. Of how much you really want to do it. And you'll do it, despite rejection in the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods. And the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is."

Long live being dumped. It is far easier than the other way.

Splitting up with people is shit.

Just played the worst gig of my life, realised half the way through the first song that I wish I hadn't started. The audience had about as much interest in me as I did in them. I would like to get grossly anal about the whole situation but it is not in my nature to do so, for I am too anal. Also got told I was shit at my job (cleaning) by not only my boss, but through hearsay amongst the office workers of which I clean for. I quote, "I've never once seen her with a duster", "She was in Brian's* office for an awfully long time, it shouldn't take that long to change a bin, I was going to go and see if she was stealing anything." All quotes gratefully recieved by Julia*.

*All name's changed to protect the identity of said parties.

Lee I am sure you'll be the only party replying, please offer me words of encouragement in these grave times.

I have finally finished both my essay and portfolio. My teeth feel like they are about to crumble, I think it is all the coffee. The quality of the work is questionable but I go to a welsh university and as such I am expecting top marks.

3:30 Am, surrounded by coffee cups and writting an essay, feels like I'm back in wales already.

After never finding the courage to play a gig despite playing guitar and writing much for nearly four years, I have suprised myself by doing three gigs in the last week. I shall surely be spilling some bile at the sunrooms on wednesday, wont that be swell.

whoop, signed for me house today, and more good news, the crazy old women running the estate agency quoted the price to high the first time we went in. So now I have an extra £35. Well truth be told that is all I have but at least now I don't have to sell matchsticks in Carmarthen town centre, I can rest for another few weeks before I unleash the entrepreneurial talents of my mockney accent. A pocket watch'll fetch a pretty penny, I should say.

I have decided not to drink for the rest of the week. This decision was spawn from sundays 30hour drinking session, in which one large bottle of Gin and one large bottle of vodka where consumed. My organs are ripe for the bursting and I've shat the bed, crushed the cat and nailed the choirboy. Oh how I regret those fateful last words; "fancy getting pissed?"

In other news I have cut my hair, I thought I looked a regular Dapper Dan untill I saw two of my mates laughing at me through the kitchen window. It transpired that they were not laughing at my hair, but the manner in which I was 'stroking my fringe'. Well I never..

went into google and typed "sophie look's like", as artysmokes suggessted.

I don't think Sophie looks like a tail.. do you???
Sophie looks like someone scared her!
Sophie looks like now.
Sophie looks like a blue plastic hammock with handles.
Sophie looks like a little version of a Boxer.
Sophie looks like she's off to a good start.
Sophie looks like she is having a ball.
Sophie looks like a little girl now...
Sophie Looks like Lymphoma.
Sophie looks like killed BBC-presentator Jill Dando
Sophie looks like she'll throw up but holds it in.
Sophie looks like a DANCING bear
Sophie looks like a washerwoman;
Sophie looks like she fell out of the Ugly Tree and hit every single branch on the way down

I feel the last is most apt.

the cabbie that enshured my safe return home was also quite insightful.

"you better make the most of now, coz' now don't come along every day"

He also let me smoke in the cab and enticed much hilarity of his tales of northen boyhood.
I surely did tip my hat, and gave him a tip on't sidelines. x

Well it was bound to happen sooner or later. I have started to drink gin by the bucketload. It is actually a very refreshing tipple, only it makes your organs feel quite questionable of the morrow. It also makes me shout CUNT an inumerable amount. These are of course mere catches in the uplifting experience that is a good gin. Apon my return to Southend I shall hall myself up in my mates room with several bottles of gin and play old skool sonic games. ROll on Gin and Sonic.

It's me birthday Just been to see my crazy nan. Off to the brush tonight for fun and frollics. Whoo la la

I awoke today, admitedly at the late hour of 2:45pm, But hey didn't get to sleep till gone 7am. Anyway that is irrevelent to this rant. I awoke and the sun was shinning there was but one cloud blemishing the beautiful blue sky. Within 10 miutes the blue turn to grey and the weather had taken a turn for the welsh. It is now Bucketing it down. Am I a bad weather omen??

Date:	2005-09-14 17:54
Subject:	Quote me happy
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

'Tube gossip' inspired quotes from the pub and other debauched affairs:-

" Mothers in Leigh have more origional features in their houses than on their face."

"Well, I'm not going to shout about what I very occasionally do."

"I can't stand these pink things that invade the morning."

There is a massive moth banging about in my lampshade. I hate moths, they remind of 16 year old girls in nightclubs. They're all about bright lights and clothing. Why do they always fly in your face?

I still haven't found a house in wales, looks like I'll be living on the streets or sleeping on various friends floors like a common vagabond. I could always live in a tent, Wales is known for it's many sweeping fields, a very picturesque home indeed.

On a more positive note I recently won an egg and spoon race.

Date:	2005-08-20 19:22
Subject:	mind over bladder
Security:	Public
Mood:	drunk

cunted.

cork and cheese = pleasurable
The alex = surprising (both good and bad)
Dirty hearts = free